Paying for Dates? Gen Z Has Opinions -- & They're Not What You'd Expect

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A Generational Clash: Who Pays on a Modern Date?

Scott Galloway's recent commentary on dating, suggesting men should always pay, has sparked a fascinating discussion, particularly among younger generations. But what do Gen Z actually think about who should foot the bill on a date? We spoke to members of the SheKnows Teen Council to uncover their perspectives – and the results reveal a surprising blend of traditional sentiment and modern expectations.

  • Traditional Values Persist: Despite a focus on equality, some teens still appreciate it when a date offers to pay.
  • Fairness is Key: The dominant vibe among Gen Z is a desire for fairness and reciprocity in dating.
  • Context Matters: Expectations shift based on who initiates the date and the nature of the relationship.
  • Nuance Prevails: Gen Z’s views are a complex mix of appreciation for traditional gestures and a commitment to modern equality.
  • Heteronormative Considerations: The conversation highlights the importance of acknowledging diverse relationship dynamics.

The Casual Date is King

The teens we spoke with overwhelmingly favored casual, low-pressure first dates focused on connection. Parks, coffee shops, and simply hanging out were popular choices. "I would say just, like, going to the park. A nice place where we can talk," shared Lilia. This emphasis on conversation and connection underscores a desire for genuine interaction over lavish displays of generosity. When the conversation inevitably turned to dining out, the real debate began.

A Spectrum of Perspectives

While some teens expressed appreciation for the traditional gesture of a date paying, the overwhelming sentiment revolved around fairness. Joris was forthright: "I'm paying. The guy just … pays. If I don't have money, my parents will definitely give me money to pay. That’s just kind of how I was raised." Sophie, however, added a layer of nuance: "I think it’s sweet when someone offers to pay, which -- it’s kind of controversial. I know that some people don't like that, but I think it's sweet." This highlights a key distinction – the appreciation for the gesture itself, rather than an expectation of it.

Beyond the Binary: Relationship Dynamics and Modernity

The conversation wasn’t solely about gender roles. Lilia pointed out the importance of considering relationship dynamics beyond the heteronormative framework. "Especially if you're not in a straight relationship -- that's kind of different.” Theo echoed this sentiment, adding, “I think if you ask to go, then you pay.” This demonstrates a growing awareness of diverse relationship structures and a desire for equitable interactions regardless of gender or sexual orientation. Sophie’s final comment perfectly encapsulates the Gen Z perspective: "I'm never gonna ... expect someone to pay, ever."

Ultimately, while Scott Galloway’s view might represent a nostalgic perspective on dating, Gen Z’s approach is far more complex. They value traditional gestures of kindness but reject the expectation of them, prioritizing fairness and acknowledging the evolving landscape of relationships. As Gen Z continues to shape dating norms, we can expect a continued emphasis on reciprocity, understanding, and a departure from rigid expectations.